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A woman so large that she can't leave her couch gets blown up in a house fire and consumed by mentally challenged children. Offensive on several levels. You're welcome.


Obese woman: 400 lbs.
Too many Twinkies, she’s trapped in her house
Stuffing her face with deliveries from town
Her ungodly appearance makes many dicks frown

She eats enough food to feed an entire family
Couch sores on her skin must be peeled daily

Daytime talk shows and Parliament cigarettes
Welfare and disability checks pay the rent
She admires the lifestyles of the rich and famous
Yet she lives the lifestyle of the obese and heinous

She eats enough food to feed an entire family
Couch sores on her skin must be peeled daily
Fused to her sofa by rotten flesh gravy
Tube-tied to oxygen because she’s too fucking lazy

Late at night she passes out with a cigarette
While watching reruns of Cheers
The cherry falls down and hits the shag carpet
And everything goes Bad News Bears

Flames flow like water, the curtains ablaze
Knick-knacks, midnight snacks melt within the haze
Floral print coffin lights up like a match
Wood panel walls melt to the white trash
The rafters give way, mashing the spud
Fiery embers are boiling her blood
Dying eyes locked onto the TV set
Obese woman now charred human sludge

The rafters give way, mashing the spud
Melting like salt snowing on slugs
Her final screams muffled by molten lard
The scent of her flesh attracts ravenous ‘tards
Hunger pangs tear at her jellyrolls
Fat cells drip out from various holes
BB(W)Q, no blood left to spill
The tables have turned now that you’re on the grill

Fire consumes the oxygen tank
Metal heats fast, peeling the paint
Morphed from couchdaver to gelatinous blob
Propelled by gas and cheap alcohol
She blasts through air like jiggly napalm
Like Santa’s sleigh attached to an A-bomb
Splitting to pieces like a falling star
Into kiddie pools full of famished retards

Mongoloids swarm and target their stew
Devouring chunks whole, struggling to chew
Hording leftovers in their bathing suits
Morbid hunger sated by fat fuck barbecue


from Plump Up The Volume, released April 14, 2015
Lyrics by MR & Dave "Maggot" McDonough (former Composted vocalist)



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